07 Jul 2015
There has been an assault on marriages since incident with Adam and Eve in Garden of Eden. It continued through the ages but escalated since the beginning of world war one in 1914, when thousands of men went to war and most of the remaining, along with women had to work rotating shifts in factories manufacturing war missiles. It was at this point loneliness, infidelity, separation, divorce, and homosexuality started to rise drastically. Now with gay marriages being legalized it will become worse. Christian Counselors, Clinicians, Family Therapists and Lay Helpers in the churches and communities will be increasingly active until Kingdom comes.
Couples need to protect the integrity of a Godly marriage, by making special efforts to enrich their relationship. Communication, conflict resolution, roles and responsibilities, meeting each other needs and money management are the main areas where development is needed.
Healthy communication is being honest, transparent, listening, hearing and understanding each other. Resolving conflicts comes through respectful, informed dialogue with arrivals at Godly decisions that will be of the best interest of the family, rather than blow-up, clam-up or being passive. In this industrialized, capitalistic and narcissistic society, it has become what is referred to as a rat race society; hence, there is need for roles and responsibility of each spouse to be revise and established. Next, as humans, we all have spiritual, emotional and physical needs. One of the purposes of marriage is to help meet the needs our spouse. When these needs are not met, some turn to alcohol, overeating, infidelity etc., all of which are cancerous to marriages. Lastly and most important is managing finances. Some will spend until their several credit cards are exhausted and the bank balance goes in the red. Unwise spending will gradually cause strain and stresses, which can eventually break marriages. Couples who prepare themselves by learning the primary skills of preserving a healthy marriage before or even after they say I do will end up enjoying a harmonious marriage.
Many of us have gone into marriages with without proper preparation and expecting the ideal. However, when the honeymoon is over and rubber hits the road the marriage starts to wobble and in some cases end up in the ditch. The phrase “a stitch in time saves nine” which was reference by Thomas Fuller in 1732AD and may have been around long before that, is still true today, but it starts with both spouses accepting reality and humbly work together to bring resolve.
As fruit tree needs regular care of watering, pruning, fertilizing and purging of weeds to stay healthy and fruitful so is every marriage. At Emerge Christian Counseling Center in Toronto, with adequate training, modern tools of technology, gifted talents and help of the Holy Spirit we are able to diagnose the areas of marriage that needs development and we help enrich marriage relationships.